*AND the funniest!

I was pretty done with Bravo recaps, mostly because writing about shows I enjoy is a little tedious (Real Housewives of Salt Lake City). As much as there is to say about Real Housewives of New York City, the latter half of the season got incredibly boring to write about. But The Valley deserves to be documented.

Starting with episode three seems like the best course of action, however, because the first two episodes of this season were hard to watch. Bravo fans have known that Jax is a coke addicted/alcoholic/abusive terrorist. He’s lied, cheated, manipulated, and beaten people up on camera. No one was shocked when it turned out he kicked a table at his wife, Brittany, while their child was nearby. No one was shocked that he punched holes in the walls. No one is shocked that he continues to claim that Brittany sleeping with a guy he was barely friends with is the same thing as his numerous affairs. No one is shocked that he’s treated rehab as a short vacation. Because Bravo, as a network most enables men to treat women badly from Vanderpump Rules to Southern Charm. The only place they seem to have any agency is on Real Housewives, because their star eclipses the network’s machinations. But on the shows starring millennial reality stars, their misery is the business.

The Valley

Season 2, Episode 3: “The Billionaire and the Boys' Chat”

Grade: A-

This episode, however, people are shocked… but only that Jax went to a rehab facility for 30 days (don’t worry, he doesn’t last the full 30 days). But of course he did, he had to save his job, the only thing important to him. Not his wife. Not his son. Not his actual life. Jason returns to Brittany’s to give her the 411 on Jax checking into rehab. Michelle and Janet arrive at the house and kick him out so they can have a girls’ chat. Janet brought wine, which is hilarious to me, the idea of sipping wine while talking about someone’s husband going to rehab. But also, relatable. I’d need it too, girl.

Frank

The Valley is the Darkest* Show on TV

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