Ranking the Islanders on Love Island USA Season 6

A new bombshell has entered the villa...

I haven't really paid much attention to the Love Island franchise since… oh lord, Ekin-Su? Yes, I think it was when Ekin-Su and Davide won eighth season of the British series. But even then, my viewing had been sporadic for a few years. And as for Love Island USA, I didn't really give it much of a try. Plus, the second season aired during Covid and there was nothing glamorous about pretending a rooftop in Vegas was a villa. Especially The Cromwell hotel…

But I had to tune in for the sixth season to at least witness my sis Ariana Madix strut into the Fiji villa as the new host. And while Ariana was initially the draw, this fucking cast is what made me binge the first two and a half weeks of the season in two days. Somehow, this season of Love Island is being played like it's Big Brother? You've got people scheming to oust romantic rivals from the show and dramatic breakdowns when people are cut from the island. This is what I wanna see!

If you're unfamiliar with Love Island, it's a competition dating series where singles are thrown onto an island and given the chance to couple up with one another. Every so often, there are recouplings where people can switch up their partners if they're vibing with someone else. If someone else has "turned their head" if you will. This can often happen if a new "bombshell" has entered the villa. Bombshell here has nothing to do with that awful movie about the wigs at FOX News. It's used to describe smoking hot newbies on the island, who usually strut into the villa in slow motion.

As of today, three new bombshells have entered the villa – Cassidy, Kenny, and Nigel. I don't know a damn thing about them yet, so I'm not raking them. But as of now, here are my current rankings of the Love Island USA season 6 contestants.

Rob

Put this man on Big Brother immediately. I haven’t fallen in love with a reality television contestant like this is in YEARS. Rob is a snake wrangler (no really) who wears overalls around the villa all the time and has already been in three dramatic couplings. First, he was paired with Leah (more on this diva later), then he dumped her because he was having feelings for new bombsell Liv. He then dumped Liv and went back to Leah, only to leave Leah again for new bombshell Andrea! And he actually started developing feelings for Andrea, which is why he had an absolute meltdown when the other girls voted to kick Andrea out of the villa this week.

I want to watch this man on The Traitors. I want to watch him on The Challenge. Shit, put him on Southern Charm???

JaNa

Speaking of playing this game like it’s Big Brother! If JaNa were in the BB house, she’d be winning hands down. She’s had some bad gos at couples (we’ll get to Connor in a minute), but she’s beloved by the girls so much that they axed someone else in a couple (Andrea) just to give her another chance in the villa. Which, thank God. It created some much needed drama and it’s keeping one of the most fun and likable contestants in the villa around a bit more.

Leah

Divaaaaaa. My girl Leah is crazy boots and I’m obsessed. She is always going to remind you that she’s not talking about her ex Rob, even though that is literally all she does. She was obsessed with him during their coupling, dragged him after he dumped her, got back together with him, dragged him when he dumped her again, cozied up to Connor even when he was with her friend JaNa, and then conspired to get Rob’s current girl Andrea kicked out of the villa during a recoupling ceremony. Simply put, she’s an icon.

Liv

Liv got a bit messy when she stole Connor from Leah (and I loved it) and now she just sort of claps back at the guys when they’re assholes and calls out Leah when she’s being crazy. She’s not mother, but she’s a potential mother!

Aaron

Aaron was great when he played on The Traitors UK (and won!) and he’s great here too. Because he’s so sweet, even if he’s kind of dumb. And it’s just really fun to watch him on TV, like when he explained the plot of Wicked to Kaylor. Usually I don’t root for the couple that’s obviously in the lead for the win, but something about Aaron’s goofiness is endearing.

Kaylor

She’s so sweet and bubbly and she and Aaron seem like the winning couple at the moment. Look at me, rooting for white love!

Connor

Connor suuuuuucks. He walks around like a G.I. Joe because he’s jacked, but has no flexibility apparently and is a horrible dancer. But that’s not why he sucks, I just felt I had to mention that. No, Connor sucks because he got into a couple with JaNa, then dropped her for Leah without telling her he was having feelings for Leah. Then he kept insisting that JaNa would blow up about the entire thing and cause drama (because she’s black??), when in reality he was the one making snide remarks about her all week.

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching a villain on these shows, sorry!

Serena

My girl is down bad! The internet has turned on her because she wanted to party with the new bombshells instead of Kordell, but also, it’s a game! Let my good sis thrive! She’s incredibly fun to watch so I don’t mind her being messy. And I’m sure Kordell will bounce back either on the show or IRL.

Kordell

I’m sorry Serena hurt his feelings but Kordell isn’t really that interesting to watch, except for when he says things completely earnestly that come out unintentionally funny. Like when Connor said he had a clown nose on because he got played by Leah, and Kordell responded with, “you don’t have a clown nose on your nose. Your nose is your nose.” Bless him.

Kendall

Likable, but boring! I thought the guys were gonna cut him instead of Hakeem, tbh.

Miguel

He’s hot and I like watching him do the Magic Mike push ups, I guess.

Nicole

Honestly, I kept confusing her with Hannah up until Hannah got dumped…